The Ties that Bind: How One Red Crosser Helps to Reunite Loved Ones Separated by Disaster

By Vicki Meltzer, Red Cross writer

Think, for a moment, of the people you care about most. Now imagine that you don’t know where they are or if they’re safe. For most people, the very notion is unthinkable, yet when disaster strikes, it is a scenario that is all too real: Grandparents can’t reach loved ones in an earthquake-ravaged area on the opposite coast; Children fleeing fast-moving floods get separated from their parents in the chaos of evacuations; Neighbors worry that the disabled couple next door might have been at home when a tornado ripped through the area. 

Unfortunately, Jillehn Washburn, a Northern New England Red Crosser, has experienced that unimaginable feeling firsthand. “I’ve experienced a lot of loss in my life, and I know what it’s like not to be able to find your person,” she says. “I think that’s why I’ve been so drawn to reunification.” 

During a disaster, the Red Cross can receive hundreds of calls each day from worried individuals looking for someone they care about. Those calls are routed to specially trained Red Cross reunification caseworkers like Jillehn, who work with organizations and information sources to locate the missing loved ones.  “You hear the story of how their person lived,” she explains, “and you gather that information. You use your skill set and resources as the caseworker to do what you can to find them.” 

It's a process that Jillehn describes as being extremely personal. As a caseworker, she is afforded a unique window into the lives of the seeker and sought person, and for a brief time, she and the client walk closely together as they look for answers. Jillehn says, “I try to be a comfort to the client because of my own experience. I try to be there to provide some closure and, hopefully, celebration.” 

Since joining the Red Cross in 2009, Jillehn has dedicated much of her adult life to the Red Cross mission of alleviating human suffering. She started as a volunteer in Montana and for many years split her time between volunteering in Montana and New England. Eventually, she moved to Northern New England permanently and became a member of paid staff in 2024. Even though reunification casework is something that Jillehn does in addition to her other duties, the role holds a special place for her. She says, “I think that of everything I’ve done in the Red Cross, and my background is very varied, reunification has been some of the most rewarding.”

Fortunately, the reunification search usually ends with a caseworker providing the seeker with happy news. There are many reasons why loved ones become separated during a disaster - downed communication lines and misplaced cellphones make it impossible to connect, family members accidentally go to different shelters – the list goes on. Typically, once the dust settles a little, loved ones are found and reunited. Those cases are always fulfilling. But what of cases that don’t end in celebration? 

“There are a lot of times when the outcome is really positive,” Jillehn confirms. “Sometimes, it’s not.” In those cases, the Red Cross will reconnect with the seeker and offer them mental health services, spiritual care, and other resources to help in their time of grief. 

“Being able to step in with those additional Red Cross services to make sure the seeker is getting assistance – that’s really important to me,” Jillehn continues. It’s a large part of why she does the work. For her, knowing that specially trained care and condolence workers, “…are walking with the client on these things? That matters,” she says. “The clients aren’t alone, and that matters as much as the celebratory cases.”

Recently, Jillehn deployed in a reunification capacity to Hurricane Helene and the Los Angeles wildfires. Since most reunification work is done remotely, she was able to work on those disasters right from her home in Vermont. The remote nature of the work is a real draw for those who, for a variety of reasons, are unable to deploy on site. For Jillehn, there is a lot of appeal in, “being able to still serve the mission to our clients who are thousands of miles away.”

When a deployment ends, Jillehn says, “I’m always able to look back at my experience with pride for myself and for the team, knowing we helped to serve the Red Cross mission. We helped to provide closure and, most often, celebration for those in need when they were trying to find their people.” 

Jillehn is currently building out a team of reunification volunteers for the Northern New England Region. She acknowledges that reunification casework is hard, often emotional, and isn’t for everyone. But, for those who feel drawn to the work, the experience is deeply satisfying. She explains, “When you help to make that connection, you’re able to call the seeker back and say, ‘I found your person and they gave me permission to let you know that they are ok and will be in touch.’ There is no better feeling, in my opinion, than to find people and connect that love and provide reassurance.” 

To learn more about becoming a Red Cross reunification volunteer, please contact volunteerNNE@redcross.org.